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back i am in e school comp lab.
so dumb sitting here alone whenever they have physics, but it's practically e only time i get t use e net! trying t complete my weeks overdue chinese newspaper cutting. im sorry t say it's driving me crazy. so is e dumb chinese teacher. i think she thinks she hates me but she actually is secretly in love wit me, but doesnt wanna admit it cos it's not right for teachers t be lesbians, and t fall for students. HAHAH. i was just trying t entertain myself lah. =D it's weird no longer having you around. i can still remember e warmth when you held me close. i can still remember how those hugs and kisses felt when we both knew it was e last. i can still remember how hard it was t turn and leave, wit you standing there, looking at me. i can still remember stopping myself from telling you a last i love you for fear you'd see me cry again. i can still remember e hurts and e pains, but so can i remember e joy and e smiles. e memories so well. accepting you was a barrier i had t cross, now leaving is a steep mountain i have t climb. it feels better when i knoe you're still around and all, but everything's jus so different. no longer around t fill that empty space right at e bottom of my heart. it's sad t know how difficult it was t make things work. where you went wrong, where i went wrong. maybe, jus maybe. a blessing in disguise, you said. it's heartening t see how much you still care, though knowing those hugs'll never be around anymore. dont stop caring for me, it makes me feel safe. even if it's a lie.
nothing hurts like love | |
9:54 AM
screw YOU, bitches.
e start of this year's been pretty bad. new year was fun though, down at chjimes wit gina, tyler, jake, candice, not forgetting, you.(: went for shisha after that. as usual, school still screws my life up. things happening one after another, it's turning me all upside down. everybody else seems t have changed. sometimes i sit down on a chair and think 'what am i really doing, what do i really want?' i fear as i think of e future, i've simply no idea what it brings. no specific resolution nor wish this new year. just want everything t go smoothly, i'll get over with crescent, my family and friends'll be fine. and i just want you and your beautiful soul. i want t be back t normal, i dont want us t change. cos' i love you, and all of you alone. and we'll fulfill what we promised, half a year in a months' time, and many more half a years t go. e love that'll nv be replaced. yuani, dont leave. it'll be lonely without you. you're not gonna get expelled, we'll do all it takes t get you t stay. it's not been easy on either of us, especially not you. dont worry, we'll always be here. me, your dad, maine, jia and all e rest. you'll be fine, i promise. -hugs. remember our pact? together we'll screw THOSE, bitches. =D
nothing hurts like love | |
3:42 PM |
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xue :D |